So what do you think....
Who is number one outta The Hoff and Chuck Norris?
What makes them number one is entirly upto you... winner of a fight between the two? Best looking? Absolutly anything ;)
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When David Hasselhoff donates blood he declines the syringe and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you're just seconds away from death.
Crop circles are The Hoff's way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is he always says "Two seconds 'til." After you ask "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.
David Hasselhoff invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light - except pink.
Tom Cruise invented pink.
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday.
In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by David Hasselhoff, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone has ever come to matching him.
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
When David Hasselhoff does a push up he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.
When Chuck Norris runs with scissors, other people get hurt.
The eternal conundrum "what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object" was finally solved when David Hasselhoff punched himself in the face.
There is no such thing as evolution, just a list of creatures Chuck Norris allows to live.
The popular videogame "Doom" is based loosely around the time Satan borrowed two bucks from David Hasselhoff and forgot to pay him back.
Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
David Hasselhoff is not lactose intolerant, he just refuses to put up with lactose's shit.
When the Bogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks under his bed for Chuck Norris.
On the 7th day God rested.... and The Hoff took over.
The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
David Hasselhoff once played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun.... and won.
In an average living room there are 1242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.
The Hoff uses ribbed condoms inside out, so he gets the pleasure.
It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a pirate but that is a lie created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more pirates to him.
David Hasselhoff doesn't believe in God.... God believes in The Hoff.
There are no disabled people. Only people who have met Chuck Norris.
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Tags: Chuck, David, Hasslehoff, Hoff, Norris, The
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